怎么运用我国厕所——一个外国人的辅导
A Foreigners Guide to Using Chinese Toilets
怎么运用我国厕所—— 一个外国人的辅导
I have been wandering around China for 40 years so now I feel like I am qualified to tell you about Chinese toilets.
我已经在我国四处游荡了40 年，所以现在我觉得我有资历向我们介绍一下每天都要进出的我国的厕所。
First: Chinese use squat toilets. Remember to pull your pants all the way down. This prevents you from peeing in in your pants. It is very embarrassing to walk out of a restroom after you have peed in your pants. It makes you look stupid .
榜首：我国人用蹲式厕所。记住要一向拽着你的裤子，这能够避免你尿到裤子上。假如从厕所出来后你尿到了裤子上那就十分为难了，看起来很愚笨。
Second: Chinese do not provide toilet paper like the rest of the civilized world. You must bring your own toilet paper, Bring extra if you are inclined to get diarrhea. Bring extra if you have other foreign friends who forgot to bring their toilet paper.
第二：我国不像其他的文明国家相同供给卫生纸。你有必要自己带卫生纸进出厕所，假如那天肚子内急（拉肚子）的话，急急忙忙跑进厕所，蹲下今后，哇！忘掉带手纸，那可真是急出一身盗汗……所以口袋里宁可不带钱包也必定要记住带手纸。假如你有其他的外国朋友来我国，首先要提示他们进入洗手间之前千万别忘掉带卫生纸，假如是女生，还要提示她们多带一些。
For this tutorial, I have provided two instructional pictures.
在本教程中，我供给了两个教育图片。
On the right you see an old fashion Chinese toilet. Before they had the Olympics in 2008 where Chinese had to modernize and show off to the rest of the world, most Chinese toilets looked like this. The right side is for boys and the left side is for girls.
下图是一个旧款式的我国厕所（民间叫茅房/茅坑。这张图片的区别是他的建筑材料不是用茅草，而是用砖头）。在全世界重视的 2008北京奥运会我国将它的现代化展示给全世界的一起，大多数的我国厕所仍然就是这个姿态的。右侧的是男，左边的是女。它们还有个我国称号叫便利。不管你拉大便仍是撒尿，都没有洗手设备，虽然便利好了。
I have a picture of the inside, but I am sure you don't want to see that It is just a big hole with a bunch of shit in it.
我也有厕所里边的相片，可是我想你不会想看。那是一个大洞，里边臭气熏天，你假如不捏着鼻子，憋口气，就会把你呛个跟斗，由于里边有屎尿天衣无缝的大粪坑，作为男人，小便还好些，你能够与那粪坑长方形的蹲口拉开距离，长途射线赶快完结你的便利。假如不幸你要大便，那就糟糕了，你有必要断下来对吧，有必要胆战心惊地蹲到下面黑乎乎的粪坑上面，假如你的大便很粗很健壮，那可就糟糕了，由于它们的冲击力很或许反应给你的屁股以及只需它们能够喷发回来的身体衣服。这个时分，你必定想跳下去决战……
There is no door of course. The Chinese don't have a word for privacy and you should ignore the flies and the smell.
当然没有门。我国人没有一点隐私。你应该疏忽厕所中的苍蝇和臭味。
There is no flush of course, These old toilets flushed themselves automatically. All you had to do was wait for a big rain and all the shit would wash it out into the street and float away.
也没有冲水，这些旧式的马桶能够主动冲水。你所需要做的就是等候一场大雨来临，将一切的屎冲到街上漂走。
On the left, you see a modern Chinese toilet. Well, actually these are not Chinese toilets. They are Japanese toilets. Chinese love Japanese inventions, even though they may not love Japanese. Well, they are not actually modern Japanese toilet, they are the way Japanese toilets looked about 100 years ago.
下图是一个现代大部分我国人遍及运用的厕所。嗯，其实这不是我国的厕所，而是日本的厕所。虽然我国人不喜爱日本，可是我国人喜爱日本的创造。好吧，其实这也不是日本的现代的厕所，这仅仅100 年前日本的厕所的姿态。
The second illustration is a toilet at one of the top ten Universities in the China where I work. If you come to China you must get used to Chinese ways. Don't forget to bring your own toilet paper.
第二个图片是我作业的校园，一地点我国排名前十的校园的厕所。假如你来我国，必定要习惯于我国的方法，不要忘掉自己带卫生纸。
Third: Be prepared to flush before you use the toilet. Not all Chinese have been taught to flush. Forth: The basket is for toilet paper. Chinese will provide a basket for toilet paper, but they will not provide toilet paper. Chinese do not put toilet paper in the toilet, because they think it will not flush. I always flush the toilet paper. I figure if the toilet brakes because of toilet paper, it needed to be replaced anyway. I also do not like to squat by a basket of used toilet paper.
第三：在运用厕所之前做好预备冲水。不是一切的我国人都被教训要冲水。
第四：篮子是用来放卫生纸的。在我国厕所会供给一个用来装卫生纸的篮子，可是不会供给卫生纸。我国人不会将卫生纸扔到马桶里，由于他们认为这回使马桶阻塞。我总是将卫生纸用冲水冲下去，由于我觉得假如马桶由于卫生纸就阻塞了，那它不管怎么也该换了。我也不太喜爱蹲在一篮子用过的卫生纸周围。
The brushes (wipers) you see are for cleaning up after yourself or after the people before you who did not clean up after themselves. The one on the right has a very thin plastic handle. Chinese do not like to spend money on useful things. If it is cheep they will buy it. The brush on the right will not even work once, because the plastic handle is so week it will break off and fall in the toilet. I like to use them first. It encourages Chinese to buy a better brush the next time.
你看到的刷子是用来整理你自己或前一个没有整理的人的厕所。右侧是一个很细的塑料把手。我国人不喜爱在有用的东西上花钱。假如很廉价的话他们就会买。右侧的刷子乃至一次都不能运用，由于塑料把手十分不健壮简单掉到厕所里。我喜爱榜首个用这个刷子，这能够使我国人下次买一个质量好一些的刷子。
The brush on the left has a more sturdy handle. The fluff ball on the end is made of yarn. So after you clean the toilet, you have to rinse the fluff ball off in the water. But since the fluff ball is made of yarn , it is like rinsing shit out of a sweater.
左边的刷子的手柄愈加巩固，刷子顶端的毛球是用纱线做的。所以清洁完厕所后，你有必要在水中冲刷毛球。但由于毛球是用纱线做的，冲刷特别像是在洗一件粘了屎的毛衣。
They do have more sturdy brushes with bristles, but Chinese do not like to buy them because they are useful.
其实也有更多的刷毛巩固的刷子，可是我国人不会由于它们是有用的就喜爱买。
Despite the fact that I teach physics at a major Chinese university, even after 40 years I realized I did not understand everything there is to know about Chinese toilets. Such as whether to squat facing the water, or away from the water.
虽然我已经在我国的一所重点大学教物理，乃至40 年后我才认识到我并不了解我国的厕所。比方蹲下时应该面朝着水仍是背对着水。
In order to resolve this problem, I called several other professors to my office for consultation on the subject. I called in both girl professors and boy professors.
为了处理这个问题，我打电话叫来其他几个教授来到我的办公室，向他们咨讯 这个问题。我叫来的有男教授也有女教授。
I figured maybe girls squatted different than boys and if so I wanted to be thorough. What I found out is that Chinese themselves are not sure how to use a squat toilet.
我想或许女生的蹲厕方法和男生的不同。假如是这样的话我想完全了解。可是我发现，我国人自己也不确定怎么运用蹲厕。
Professor Wang said: “It does not matter which direction the water is, you squat facing the door”
王教授说： “ 水在哪个方向没关系，你对着门蹲着就行。”
Professor Li said: “you squat facing the pee catcher. And the girl professors agreed.” But no one agreed on which way you were supposed to squat if there was no pee catcher.
李教授说：“ 你对着小便池蹲。” 那个女教授表示同意。”
This should not be too surprising since even the famous Bruce Lee ( 李小龙) did not know how to use a western toilet. Bruce thought you were supposed to stand on the seat. Japanese toilets are no less complicated.
所以大名鼎鼎的李小龙不知道怎么运用西方的厕所也家常便饭了。李小龙认为你应该站在马桶上。日本的厕所或许也很杂乱。
A note on toilet paper: Chinese like to buy the cheapest possible stuff Again even if it does not work. I do not like cheep Chinese toilet paper because your finger always pokes through the toilet paper into your butt and I don't like that.
关于卫生纸：即便不好用，我国人也喜爱尽或许买最廉价的东西。我不喜爱廉价的我国卫生纸，由于手指会捅破卫生纸蹭到屁股上，我不喜爱这样。
So I always buy top quality Chinese toilet paper.
所以我总是买最优质的我国卫生纸。
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